swim

so sick of havin’ 2 pretend
that i don’t still love you,

that i don’t care; that i
wouldn’t walk through
fire, swim through shit

and glass barefooted n’ naked
for

you

anymore;

that my gums, my hair follicles,
my pores

were/are so sore

so i confessed
it all; i took
the big

plummet,

the long
and hard

fall-

i put mi corazon on
this primary coloured;
primitive blue, yellow,
and red plastic
table

i poured my heart
out ‘n in through
a funnel;

i let the light
i’ve trapped
inside

the end of that tunnel
come rushing, come
flooding, come
undulating

out in 2 the open-

you rejected it; you
refused everything;
every inch of it
you

dismissed.

...the absence of yr presence/the opposite
of yr kiss...and, o! what pain! and, no! woe
is me

[times infinity, then multiplied by pregnant
threes [i.e. 3, 6, 9, 12, 15, etc.]

you shot me down

you shot me straight down

from my proud cloud,
so hard i fell

into the vast, expansive ocean
of your eyes, of yr existence-

i fell from so high in this night sky,
so far,

far

down

into
then
through
the
ground

now my eyes are so sore
‘n so perpetually closed-

i am a mole; i’ve taken refuge
in this hole

of

confused thought, of confusion
that i’m not allowed, not
permitted to exit-

you’ve hollistically
trapped me in

without

a clue
as
2

how to get out-

at least not
how 2
exit,

to escape
to the
other
side

alive.

there’s no real way to survive
this imprisonment, y certainly
no means to thrive

in

such an
antithesis
of heaven

which

offers nothing
much

save

gretel & hansel’s bread crumbs,
left-over left-overs 4 lunch, ‘n
a bunch of screaming banshees
in misery

nobody

nobody

to share my/this burden with,
only infinite seconds 2 add
to it...

forever and forever
times infinity

we race at a snail speed,
in slow motion towards
being free

yet we

never

succeed-

once you go so far
the ‘level’ is complete
and then this sick game
simply resets, simply
repeats

until
we

are each
at ‘ground
zero’

[literally y figuratively]

with nowhere
to go but
back
down
down
and
down

deeper
into our
infamy,

further
into the
opposite
of a frown.