worth the wait/russell street

made you a mix tape in 2008 or so, didn’t give it to you though

i was too shy so i wrapped it in foil then hid it in a book

when you moved out i hoped you’d find it but maybe that book belonged to alex

i cry for that night with a pout because i did look back

and didn’t see you chasing after me

but you followed me down russell street only you took a different route

than me

happy halloween, happy chanuka, happy new year’s eve and hopefully

2019 will bring you all that you were missing

you 

like crazy

i am crazy i guess

just paying bills, cashing checks- how’s your college debt? 

the novel you sent for my birthday i kept

but i have only read half of it

i’ve been a junkie before but now i’m clean and sometimes it seems a bore

me 

with a story and i’d be so grateful and happy

or tell me about your past, about growing up in philly

about your sisters and your brother, your father spencer and your mother

harriet 

when we were speaking i’d always forget to ask questions important

instead i’d get caught up in your voice, your laugh and the sound of it

all

being great

march 26th is now a holiday, a special date 

where we all thank the woman upstairs for creating such a beauty

of a person

with a name like two different worlds but so beautiful

and your middle name that i never knew

for some strange reason

just the letter 

n

e

ways

bless you and all of your days

and by the way, that mix tape was great

if i do say

so

myself 

all by myself

i toast to your life and health 

while looking at 'testo junkie' on the shelf

and feeling sorry for myself

but more sorry for what i put you through

the

grapevine

i heard you are doing fine

which made me sigh

with relief 

cutting through the bruise and grief

flying from new york city to tucson international 

i counted my blessings backwards until we landed

and i never reached zero

despite your absence

i need a hero

in black tights and thigh high boots

not a cape

to save my heart and take me into the future 

where i pray for a better view and a lovely picture or 

a painting 

on these ceilings like in the sistine chapel

a masterpiece that will be your face in person 

but i’ll settle for a text message 

just type ‘hey’ and i’ll try to wait a day 

before i reply

with a platitude or some crude way

of saying ‘thanks, it was worth the wait’