fun fun fun fun fun fun fun funeral.

https://soundcloud.com/sariya-iman-okoye

worth the wait/russell street


made you a mix tape in 2008 or so, didn’t give it to you though
i was too shy so i wrapped it in foil then hid it in a book
when you moved out i hoped you’d find it but maybe that book belonged to alex

i cry for that night with a pout because i did look back
and didn’t see you chasing after me

but you followed me down russell street only you took a different route
than me

happy halloween, happy chanuka, happy new year’s eve and hopefully
2019 will bring you all that you were missing

you 

like crazy

i am crazy i guess
just paying bills, cashing checks- how’s your college debt? 

the novel you sent for my birthday i kept
but i have only read half of it

i’ve been a junkie before but now i’m clean and sometimes it seems a bore
me 
with a story and i’d be so grateful and happy
or tell me about your past, about growing up in philly
about your sisters and your brother, your father spencer and your mother
harriet 

when we were speaking i’d always forget to ask questions important
instead i’d get caught up in your voice, your laugh and the sound of it
all

being great

march 26th is now a holiday, a special date 
where we all thank the woman upstairs for creating such a beauty
of a person
with a name like two different worlds but so beautiful
and your middle name that i never knew
for some strange reason

just the letter 

n

e

ways

bless you and all of your days
and by the way, that mix tape was great
if i do say
so
myself 

all by myself
i toast to your life and health 
while looking at 'testo junkie' on the shelf
and feeling sorry for myself
but more sorry for what i put you through

the
grapevine
i heard you are doing fine
which made me sigh
with relief 

cutting through the bruise and grief

flying from new york city to tucson international 
i counted my blessings backwards until we landed
and i never reached zero
despite your absence

i need a hero
in black tights and thigh high boots
not a cape
to save my heart and take me into the future 
where i pray for a better view and a lovely picture or 

a painting 
on these ceilings like in the sistine chapel
a masterpiece that will be your face in person 
but i’ll settle for a text message 

just type ‘hey’ and i’ll try to wait a day 
before i reply
with a platitude or some crude way
of saying ‘thanks, it was worth the wait’

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