when i study your picture

when i study your picture, this is what i see: a young woman- who is even younger than her numbers- who is at once angry (in a feisty fashion), scared (almost to an unbearable degree), ready to compete (but not only to compete, to win), a woman who wants to be left alone yet who is terribly lonely; lastly, there is such passion and an unabashed vulnerability (which it seems you mistakenly think you have hidden) in the depth your brown eyes offer that i almost want to pick you up (as if a little girl, or someone's daughter) shake you and proclaim: "it is okay! it is all going to be okay! you are strong, you are special, you are an individual, i will take care of you, i will readily let you take care of me- only we have to promise not to smother each other; that would be awful, absolutely awful!"

when i study your picture, this is what i see: a person who is terrified and simultaneously satisfied and excited by/with life, a person who is extremely confident at the same time as being embarrassed and painfully (almost to a debilitating degree) riddled with insecurities, a person who i want to love forever and a person who i know will one day hate me; a person whos glance cuts through me so deeply i cower in fear in a corner; yet, i know that i will always come back for more- and, i can't help but know that you know this too.

and, well, this last bit i am afraid to admit (but just as poverty is not a crime neither is being honest): i can't help but see my reflection in your penetrating stare/expression which pierces everything within me painfully (but pleasurably)- although i am far from an idiot (although a trifle idiotic) and know very well that the surface of this page doesn't reflect a thing.