(regret/hope/not conformity)

Cruising down busy street-- eyes closed but awake; heart beating but dead; eyes dry but crying-- passing cars. Elderly people moving too slow/lives passing by too fast, too quickly. Come to a stop open eyes look around-- middle-aged woman developing cancer via cellular phone while laughing about fashion do's and don'ts-- feel pain in heart immediately clamp eyes shut. Traffic jams; men at work; lost love. The world had me-- her smile; her eyes; her lips; her hair; her tears like raindrops through the sky-- perplexed/heart-broken just in time to fill out application for a job with many-- half off 1% cow on bun; visor/polo shirt, enough money to distract-- perks. Exit car shut door. Start to feel uncomfortable-- sleeping in wooden chair with clothes on, rock in shoe, itch that can't be scratched, naked in front of the world-- in my skin. "Hi-- her voice sounded confused; light on but nobody's home-- I'm tired." She looked very-- graveyard shift, soccer practice all day, sleepover-- tired. Sit down fill out paper-- vacant minds; absent thoughts; empty promises-- turn it in. (Regret/hope/not conformity). For a split second felt good-- her hand in mine/down my pants, sucking on tongue, hands up her shirt, fingers insider her mouth/inside her-- then I remembered what had just happened.