“Hey, M, look I understand if you don’t wanna talk to me after what just happened and everything, and that’s fine , but like can I ask you something?”
“Well, ya just did didn’t ya Jasp?”
“Don’t be a wiseass, you know what I mean, Maureen!”
“Yeah, yeah. I know, I’m sorry…shoot.”
“Well, like, do you ever wish you had a switch, like for your head? For your brain and for your thoughts. Like, the type of button on a television, so you could turn off your mind? You know, sometimes. It’s just well, I’ve been thinking so much lately and haven’t been getting hardly any sleep…what, why are you looking at me like that, what are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking a few things. Most importantly, you know first off Jasper, I’m really sorry I was a jerk to start with. And second I know exactly what you mean, unfortunately. Why else do you think I drink each evening until I can’t remember a goddamned thing!?”
“Oh…Thanks Maureen. That means a lot to me…uh, er...but, what do you suppose it means? Why us? And-“
“Sorry to interrupt but I’m sure it’s not just us. You know? I think most cognizant, non-ignorant human beings deal with these things. There’s a lot to think about out there- I mean there’s history, there’s the past, there’s the present, there’s memories, there’s the future, and then there’s the realization- that both you and I have made- that past, future, and present are all one word for the same thing. Synonyms, really. I mean just last week we were both talking about how it seems that everything is really happening at the same time, now. And that the past is more or less imagined…I mean, that’s a lot of shit to digest, you know?”
“I suppose you’re right. And other people too?”
“Yes, of course honey. I mean certainly not everybody is troubled by thoughts and ideas such as these. Some people are too busy working for money, shopping, talking, doing just about anything to keep busy so they don’t have to stop and think of these things. And then there’s the people who just can’t, I guess they just don’t have it in their capacity to expand and bend their minds in order to see and think outside of the times…I don’t know. What I do know is it’ll be okay. You’ll be okay Jasper, trust me. Just don’t stop painting. Never stop painting. Your paintings are amazing and don’t you dare leave this place early…In high school when you tried to commit suicide- I’ve uh never really told you this flat out and expressly but Jasp I’m so damn glad you failed!”
Maureen looks up from her now lukewarm beer glass to see Jasper crying silently while smiling.
“Well, ya just did didn’t ya Jasp?”
“Don’t be a wiseass, you know what I mean, Maureen!”
“Yeah, yeah. I know, I’m sorry…shoot.”
“Well, like, do you ever wish you had a switch, like for your head? For your brain and for your thoughts. Like, the type of button on a television, so you could turn off your mind? You know, sometimes. It’s just well, I’ve been thinking so much lately and haven’t been getting hardly any sleep…what, why are you looking at me like that, what are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking a few things. Most importantly, you know first off Jasper, I’m really sorry I was a jerk to start with. And second I know exactly what you mean, unfortunately. Why else do you think I drink each evening until I can’t remember a goddamned thing!?”
“Oh…Thanks Maureen. That means a lot to me…uh, er...but, what do you suppose it means? Why us? And-“
“Sorry to interrupt but I’m sure it’s not just us. You know? I think most cognizant, non-ignorant human beings deal with these things. There’s a lot to think about out there- I mean there’s history, there’s the past, there’s the present, there’s memories, there’s the future, and then there’s the realization- that both you and I have made- that past, future, and present are all one word for the same thing. Synonyms, really. I mean just last week we were both talking about how it seems that everything is really happening at the same time, now. And that the past is more or less imagined…I mean, that’s a lot of shit to digest, you know?”
“I suppose you’re right. And other people too?”
“Yes, of course honey. I mean certainly not everybody is troubled by thoughts and ideas such as these. Some people are too busy working for money, shopping, talking, doing just about anything to keep busy so they don’t have to stop and think of these things. And then there’s the people who just can’t, I guess they just don’t have it in their capacity to expand and bend their minds in order to see and think outside of the times…I don’t know. What I do know is it’ll be okay. You’ll be okay Jasper, trust me. Just don’t stop painting. Never stop painting. Your paintings are amazing and don’t you dare leave this place early…In high school when you tried to commit suicide- I’ve uh never really told you this flat out and expressly but Jasp I’m so damn glad you failed!”
Maureen looks up from her now lukewarm beer glass to see Jasper crying silently while smiling.
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